This past week was the worst. I had more bad days than good
days. The bad days consisted of constant pain. My joints felt like they were
being stretched to the max. My toes were constantly tweaking and cramping so
bad that I actually was in tears trying to walk on them to get them to relax. I
had a few days of migraine headaches that felt like my head was going to
explode. I hid in my room with the curtains drawn and the blanket over my head.
I didn’t know what to do. I had to push on with my job hunt, get my schooling
lined up for this term among other things that needs to be done. I went through
this the whole week, each day a repeat of the last. I felt like I was stuck in
the movie Ground Hogs Day. I haven’t called my neurologist yet. I honestly
don’t want to get him involved yet. I want to work through this on my own if I
can. If it gets worse, then yes, I won’t have much of a choice.
Sunday was the best I felt, I probably pushed myself too
far, but I got a lot done. I cleaned up my computer room from top to bottom.
Got rid of a lot of clutter and felt like I had done something good. Then
Monday rolled around. I felt fine when I got up, a bit sore from the constant
stooping but I figured I could deal with soreness. WRONG, it was more than
soreness, as the day went on the soreness turned into utter pain. It hurt to
sit, it hurt to stand. Walking well lets not even talk about my stumbling
attempts of walking.
I managed to do the dishes and cook dinner, which was before
the pain progressed to the breaking point. After dinner is when the breaking
point hit. Light was painful to even look at, I had a spell of vertigo, then a
few dizzy spells and I knew I had to lie down. I wanted to sit and watch
Defiance with my husband but I couldn’t even sit up without tears streaming
down my face. I went into my dark cold room and lay down on the bed. I stared
at the ceiling and watched it swirl around as another dizzy spell hit me. I
finally broke down and got up to take some Motrin. I knew if I was in that much
pain there was no way I was going to fall asleep. When I came out of the room and my husband looked at me he
knew I was having a bad day but managed to say, “Dear you’re a mess”… and me
being in pain and not in a good mood said, “thanks Captain Obvious, I totally had
no clue.”
I got my glass of milk, popped my Motrin, shot my husband a
glare then went back to my room. I had a few hot flashes, then cold flashes
through out the night and slept like crap. But, today is a new day, and well I
knew it was time to start documenting how I cope and deal with my MS. So far
today, it hasn’t been too productive, but the pain is tolerable. I do have the
lightning shooting down my spine when I look down which is a bit of a trippy
feeling so I try not to look down. My eyes tend to want to go double vision,
like now, so that’s telling me I probably need to take a break from straining
them looking at a computer screen. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes, but
I am thinking this will be a semi good day. I might just go outside and soak up
some good ole vitamin D and play with my dogs for a while.
One thing I have learned this past week, DO NOT PUSH
YOURSELF. If you do, you’ll pay for it in two-fold. Honestly, it’s not worth
it. Do small projects at a time, take breaks, even if it’s just going outside
for 20 minutes and reading a book or sitting in the sun. I know I’m going to. I
have a lot of housework to catch up on, and a job to find. Both of which are
priorities, and I will do them a little bit at a time. All I can say is today
is turning out to be a good day.
No comments:
Post a Comment